... JOURNAL
Let your're style do the talking here's a pen. go to town.Okay here goes. sit tight.
The MACAFRAMA premiere was dope, as were the people that made the film. Long fun night, if weren't there you missed out. And if you've never ridden a track bike on the street in sneakers and jeans then you're definetly missing out. Of course it isn't for everbody. People keep telling me I should try surfing. I should try snow boarding. Honestly I'm not even intersted! If I take up another sport, it's hang gliding, sailing or dating.
I spent two weeks in the North country with my family over the holidays. My Dad's house in Santa Rosa where I stayed is turning into a beautiful home. Ever since he bought the place he's been adopting strays that come and go. He's got a big heart.. the latest is "Skip" a Vietnam war vet, father of a friend. Skip is tight as shit and we had some rad talks, he also showed me how to put an italian curse on my wacked out neighbors. Haven't used it yet but I might. Seeing my family and being in the area I grew up in actually reminds me of a tremendous amount of frustration. Getting out of there and refusing the close minded life that was pushed on me growing up is pretty much what makes me whoever I am today. So going back.. and seeing so much of what held me back that remains the same makes me pretty angry. And sad. And lonely. I'm not into the holidays much and guess this is pretty much why. I like to remember where I came from but I'd really like to never go back. Problem is I forget so I gotta go in for a sneak peak every now and then.
Getting back to LA was such a relief. Seeing the dry cold mountain silluettes, big flat city, bright lights, ruthless drivers and the long ocean made me feel like I could breathe again. Two Months and a few entries ago, I announced that I had re-signed with my team. I was happy motivated and finally making enough coin to pay the bill. I'm not going to go into every detail about what has happened with my team or my contract since then. You probably know more than I do about it actually. What it boiled down to was a month of questions and not many answers. My head was so tied in knots I would get on my bike to go train and have to turn around after an hour. After suffering the financial fallout of riding for free for a year and not having aother major vocation to turn to, I was wondering if I had a job and wonding if I was going to have to crawl back to my Father's house and start all over again. They say when it rains it pours.. but it was like it was raining... and it came with a posse of every rain that ever was. Like I told my Dad when it all hit. I was Shattered.
All that ended today. After a shit ton of phone calls, emails and sweating bullets, I signed a somewhat dumbed down contract today, for half the money. The good news... I'm going to be making a living racing my bike. The bad news, I'm going to be broke at the end of every month still. No music equipment, keeping the day job, drinking the cheap shit, not buying you dinner, sleeping in old worn out stained sheets and if you are a bum asking me for spare change... the answer is "HELLLLLL no..."
So the Saga continues. Stay tuned.
Yay Damn.Update coming soon.. the past two weeks has rivaled any other time in my life as the most stressful period I've ever been through. So for now, hope you had a bangin Navidad and can bring in the new year with a wealth of love in your heart and a readiness to take on all commers.
MACAFRAMA Premiere downtown in LA on the 13th! Here's a taste..
ROCK RACING
Curtains up! It's probably not newest patch of news to most of you by now.. but I re-signed with my team of the past two years, Rock Racing, for the 09' season. The whole organization has been ramped up like you wouldn't believe. Yesturday I spent a few hours at the team headquaters doing fittings for some new cycling clothing and getting some sneak peaks at footage the film crew has been taking all year since training camp in Janruary. What was once a chaotic bunch of us running around in escalades has developed into the most well oiled exciting team I've ever been a part of.
Oh yeah... and I'm getting PAID, double my previous highest salary as an athlete. Finally. I got the skills to pay the bills:)
That means when I hit out on a 5 hour training ride I know I have the support I need to put everything into it! This year I'll be working closely with Nate Loyal on my training program. This is the guy that revelutionized my position on the bike during the past season and somebody I've learned to trust and respect. I've been on a solid training schedule since Nov. 1st and I'm feeling my form improve in leaps and bounds. I'm all in..... let the games begin!;)
Update coming soon. I've signed a contract for 09' .. but I'm not supposed to talk about it!I'm training hard and I feel better than I ever have before on a bike.
I did a little interview with the Chaos Cycling Club and they handed me some interesting questions, here it is:
QUOTE.
By: Andrew Hershberger Chaos Cycling Club
Recently Sterling Magnell of Rock Racing took the time to discuss his pro cycling career and his life in general. I think you will find that Magnell isn't cut from the same cloth as most cyclists which makes his discussion with Chaos Cycling Club all the more interesting.
CCC: Live to cycle or cycle to live?
SM: Cycle to live
CCC: Obviously you have great passion for cycling as a professional, considering the commitment it takes to maintain the fitness and mental edge to have the successful season youÕve had but if you Ņcycle to liveÓ is it safe to say that being a professional cyclist is your career rather than the focal point of who you are as a person?
SM: I think of racing as a blank canvas that I can do anything with. My focus is on how I can make an impact and racing has been my outlet for over half my life.
CCC: I want to complement you on your web site SterlingMagnell.com. How much input did you have in the overall design?
SM: I design everything.
CCC: What is so intriguing about it is that you put yourself out their in a real raw manner. I think few professional athletes present themselves to the public in such a revealing way. ItÕs obvious you have a lot more to say than you ride a bike for a living.
SM: I like to provoke and inspire. ItÕs an organic process, I write whatever is on my mind and I say it how I see it. I want my site to be a true reflection of who I am so when people go read it they get the right idea about me.
CCC: YouÕve been riding professionally for 8 years yet you found the time to go to school for fashion design at the Academy of Arts in San Francisco. How much does your interest play a part in your life currently? SM: 6 years. IÕm keeping one eye on the fashion world. I still draw and come up with ideas.
CCC: Any specific goals you have in the pursuit of fashion in the future?
SM: IÕd like to start a brand in collaboration with my father one day for fashion and furniture. We share the same passion for design but in different areas and I think we could create good product in a very different quality way that would be inspiring to people.
CCC: What area of design does your father focus on? Your father is also a cyclist? It sounds like you have a tight relationship? A guiding force in the direction your life took during your youth?
SM: My Fathers love for design manifest itself in objects, like furniture, cars and houses. He actually built and designed the hillside house I was born in, which to this day remains largely untouched by new owners in Laguna Beach. HeÕs been riding for a long time and did some racing of his own the first few years I was getting into it. WeÕre very closeÉ I canÕt say enough about him, heÕs the shit.
CCC: I canÕt resist. Do you watch Project Runway?
SM: No. IÕve seen the show before though and I got enough of that kind of shit in school. Plus I donÕt own a television.
CCC: You donÕt own a television. Is that a conscious choice or just a matter of circumstance?
SM: Choice. ThereÕs never anything good on.
CCC: besides fashion design do you have any other artistic endeavors you are currently pursuing? I assume much of your photography not only on your web site but myspace page is yours and you write poetry as well?
SM: Yes. I have a huge desire to make music. Taking pictures, drawing and writing I do out of instinct. TheyÕre just different forums, different languages but each one is somewhat limited. They touch on different parts but never the whole picture. Music to me feels limitless, much like riding where thereÕs actually the capacity to throw your whole self into it. So thatÕs the next frontier that I see.
CCC: What kind of music? What Instrument do you play?
SM: Stuff I can make by mixing and using a drum machine, then record vocals over. I hear stuff in my head but I canÕt accurately give it a genre. I play the piano but for different reasons, IÕve been playing since I was 10.
CCC: ItÕs a Clichˇ but for many, popular music can be seen as a soundtrack to their own lives. What would be the soundtrack to your life this past year?
SM: ŅOn Every StreetÓ by Dire Straits
CCC: Favorite Poet, Writer?
SM: Bob Dylan and Spank Rock
CCC: Bob Dylan and Spank Rock. Those are pretty eclectic tastes. If you where to introduce the two at a party what would you say?
SM: I have no idea. I think IÕd have to shoot from the hip in that situation.
CCC: You box?
SM: Yes, not competitively.
CCC: What got you into boxing?
SM: I got left off the roster for a race at the last minute two years ago. I happened across a boxing gym and needed an outlet. I like it because it pushes me past my limits and I have to give 100% to get through it.
CCC: So if someone doesnÕt like your fashion design, poetry or art you are ready to kick ass.
SM: No I welcome criticism.
CCC: Lover or Fighter?
SM: I donÕt see much daylight between the two.
CCC: If I said you are a modern day Renaissance man how do you respond?
SM: IÕd ask you what that looks like.
CCC: Someone who finds inspiration in many things and has a thirst for knowledge and experience in all that life can afford. Perhaps you are a Nihilist?
SM: God no. The opposite.
CCC: ManÕs Man or Ladies Man or both?
SM: Neither. I just find myself drawn to certain individuals.
CCC: But as a professional athlete and thus a ŅcelebrityÓ would you say that you are one to be admired by men or desired by women in the way you present yourself?
SM: YouÕre being optimistic.
CCC: The archetype of style, intelligence, honor and integrity of men changes each generation but in some regards is timeless. What famous iconic people do you admire that represent these qualities, male or female?
SM: no one
CCC: You have some ink on your right chest that says Ņincorrigible.Ó Should a person take that at face value or is there a deeper story?
SM: Both. In some sense itÕs a confession. In another sense itÕs about resolve. Anyway you take it youÕd be right.
CCC: You are an Aries. How much do you personally subscribe to astrology and if you do are you a dead on Aries or not?
SM: IÕm told I fit the bill 100%. My rising sign is Virgo Though which is supposedly how you are on the surface, so I think I throw people off initially before they get to know me. I believe when and where youÕve been born absolutely would reflect some things about who you are. But I donÕt have any thoughts on astrology beyond that.
CCC: When you arenÕt on your training schedule or actually racing what do you do in youÕre down time and do you hang with other cyclists, specifically teammates or with friends from your hood in Los Angeles and hometown of Laguna Beach.
SM: No stopping anytime. IÕm almost always on. IÕm always thinking or dreaming of something so in my minds eye thereÕs really no such thing as down time thereÕs just time. I go out with a few of my teammates and close friends when IÕm home. I love shows and hitting up my favorite bar downtown called 7-Grand. I never pass up a chance to go to the ocean but I havenÕt been to Laguna since I was a child. I know most of the bike messengers in LA and I hang with them when I can, thereÕs always an alley cat race to do and an after party to go to.
CCC: What was the last show you caught?
SM: the ŅBrazilian GirlsÓ theyÕre a very eclectic band out of NYC. There arenÕt any ŅBrazilian GirlsÓ in the band. ItÕs three guys and with a female vocalist that speaks 7 languages always wears costumes with a statement when she performs.
CC: Next time you go to the 7-Grand what are you drinking?
SM: Knob Creek strait up
CCC: You go to Alley Cats. Do you reveal that you are a professional cyclist?
SM: No I just chill and enjoy the whole thing like everyone else.
CCC: How do you like living in Los Angeles and are you intending to keep you home base as it is next year.
SM: I love Los Angeles. ItÕs chaotic, diverse and a sort of beautiful wasteland. There are many other places I could consider living but I feel that this is where I belong at least for a while.
CCC: The first question I asked was simply. ŅLive to cycle or cycle to live.Ó Do you see this shifting if you professional cycling career continues to show success or will you always be looking to maintain a balance of all the things that makes you Sterling Magnell?
SM: Well there are absolutely sacrifices one has to make to be successful in the sport and IÕm more than willing to make them. But thereÕs no reason why that balance canÕt still exist. ThereÕs always a way to be creative no matter where you are you just have to be willing. My focus now is on getting the tools and resources I need in place so that I never have to choose between being an artist or an athlete. It takes work to integrate everything into one lifestyle but thatÕs my goal.
CCC: To reference my first question, Live to cycle, or cycle to live and your answer, Cycle to live. You have been a Professional cyclist for 6 years. Was this what you wanted to be when you were a kid.
SM: Since I was 12. My Father was friends with Tom Ritchey and when I learned about the Ritchey pro MTB team, thatÕs been my goal. I started training on my DadÕs bike right away doing laps around the 4 acres I grew up on. The idea never occurred to me before that for some reason even though I watched the Tour growing up and rode with my Father on weekends. When I was real little I wanted to be a pilot like my Uncle. A little later I wanted to breed falcons own a zoo and have a pool with dolphins. I always dreamt big but the bike was the first thing that took me anywhere.
CCC: You have a picture on your myspace page where you talk about riding with your Dad in the Dolomites. Has he been a big influence on your professional cycling career?
SM: The biggest. I wasnÕt actually there; he and Tom took that trip together. They deserve full credit for getting me into the sport. Sometimes my Dad and I drove all night and slept in the suburban to do some little junior race. Looking back itÕs hard to believe how much heÕs done for me.
CCC: Have you had many mentors in cycling or have you done things your own way?
SM: Those two for sure. Then thereÕs a long list, IÕve learned some really important lessons from a bunch of people.
CCC: You have been with Rock Racing for 2 years, is that correct? What has it been like riding for a team that has gotten so much attention?
SM: Ridiculously hectic and fun. Cycling and Fashion are two totally different worlds but I think they deserve each other.
CCC: I hear a lot of talk about Rock Racing from outside the peloton. What is the attitude inside the peloton from riders of other teams?
SM: My experience has been that youÕre respected as an individual within the peloton.
CCC: Before you rode for Rock Racing you where with Toyota-United. A team that has had a lot of success but is losing itÕs sponsor and is disbanding. First, why did you leave TU and second what are your thoughts in regards to one of the strongest US based teams having to shut things down because of a lack of a title sponsor?
SM: I had a blast with them in 06Õ. They decided not to resign me so I moved to Rock. I canÕt speak to what has happened since then with the team but I remain friends with all my old teammates.
CCC: Do you like where Cycling in the United States is heading?
SM: Hell yeah. ItÕs gotten so fast. And the level of awareness and popularity in the public eye is rising all the time, I feel lucky being in the sport at such a time.
CCC: Among your Palmares in 2008, including 4 first places you won the Pro-Am Challenge, US Criterium Championships. Was that the pinnacle of your season or was there another highlight for you.
SM: 5 first places. That was definitely one of them but the highlight of my season was winning Downers Ave. Everyone was trying to beat me but I had the support of my whole team and my Father was there watching. I canÕt describe how much effort emotional and physical I put into that night. Afterwards I lay on the ground for 5 minutes, and then I cried.
CCC: You rode a lot of Crits this year yet you also were on the Tour of Missouri squad. Do you have any influence on your schedule? What are your favorite types of races?
SM: No. Every race I did this year was on last minute notice and I just did my best when I had the opportunity to race. I love anything fast and technical. Hopefully IÕll have some input on what races I get in the futureÉ
CCC: You were the US Junior Road Race Champion in 1998 and US Junior Time Trial Champion in 1999. That is a pretty high benchmark to start a career. Looking back is there anything different you would have done in channeling your career?
SM: No not at all. IÕve always done it exactly how I felt at the time and gotten direct results, good and bad. If IÕd approached it with some kind of formula I donÕt think IÕd have learned as much and IÕd have less to offer today.
CCC: You seem like a guy who is always pushing the envelope. Is that your riding style as well?
SM: No I think I just see the ŅenvelopeÓ differently than most people.
CCC: Outside of actually racing what has been the most surprising thing that you have experienced this year riding for Rock Racing?
SM: How much camaraderie has grown within the organization. IÕve enjoyed the people I work with a great deal.
CCC: What is in store for Sterling Magnell next season as a professional cyclist?
SM: More of the same, but on another level.
END QUOTE
Shit..I havn't written anything in a month! Just like the good old days when I never updated this thing. It won't become the theme though I promise. It's just that I been busy.... for real.. or maybe the fact that I'm still undergoing contract negotiations subconciously makes me feel secretive. I've been sort of defragmenting in my inbetween moments.. taking a break after a whole season of racing is an interesting experience. It's nice to have a break from it all, but sometimes it feels like being shoved out into the cold with a fistfull of homework. I've been writing a lot, (just not here:P) There's a lot of life that is reletively untouched by anything other than my memory. It's a lot to sort out inside one head. So I've been trying to put it down however it comes to me unfiltered with no agenda. It forms an intersting reflection, one that I don't always realize is there. I can't really use the material it here, but look for bits and pieces of it in AMERICA in the future.
I've also been drawing some in pretty much the same vein, on impulse. I use charcol or felt pen and go strait for form and skip the details because I don't see them very well. I used to think of my drawings as having an end purpose so I only drew a certain way and when I stopped studying fashion design, I stopped drawing. I'm not sure what purpose my actual words or drawings may serve now, but I have a huge desire to be literate in everything I do. I've always said growing up that my goal in life was to have a voice.
Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll be able to explain myself;)
P.s. The picture is of the sunrise over east LA from the top of Griffith Park.
Vote Yes on Prop 1A!!!Just sayin... I for one would be estatic if there was a train that took me from LA to SF in 3 hours???
It would be awesome. Watch the video;)
Real Jobs and Alley Cats
About a year ago I gave up on my career as a proffessional cyclist because I was so sick of the issues and lack of support I kept coming across. It actually felt like it wasn't worth it at the time. Then I went and had pretty much the best season of my career to date in 2008. ha. I think I'll quit again!
But for real, I did it out of love, it definently wasn't "worth" it. The fallout of not getting a paycheck is no joke, and now that my season is over. My "skills to pay the bills" is being put to the test. I'm currently hustling my Personal Trainer services at the Los Angeles Athletic Club, which while paying the bills also keeps me busy and puts me in the gym half the week. The other half of the week I get to finally spend mobbing around LA with long lost friends I don't see much of during the year and doing Alley Cat races. Alley Cats are "illigal" races typically in or around downtown LA and (hopfully) raced on fixed gear no brakes bikes. Mad fun. Trust me:) To answer the question. "who are you riding for next year."
I don't know yet. I love my teammates and hope to continue racing next to them so I'd love to return to my current team if I get paid right. I've proved myself, put in my time and paid my dues, now it's time for me to ask for the support I deserve in return. So all I can say is that negotiations are underway and I'll be working with my agent to figure out where the best place will be for me next year. Once that happens I'll drop the bomb here first. Promise! "It aint where youre from, its what you DO there."
SICKuuuhhhhgg. I wrote earlier that I was fighting a sore throat. The morning after the TT my body gave in:( In hindsight it sheds a litte more light on my performance. Sore throat headache phlem and a fever. I hate being sick. I'm still traveling with my team at the tour in support of their efforts, the racing has been exciting and they are right in there. Meanwhile... I'm getting in some long naps on the team bus and listening to lot's of music. I thought I'd share one of my favorite albums with you, it's free and a really cool project by artist/DJ Amplive. Not to mention some brilliant mixing that turned out some of the best songs I've heard this year. The link below is where you can download the LP for free. Groove on;)
http://www.onesevensevensix.com/amplive/ Tour of Missouri: Day 3
Failure.
If you're going to start reading this.. read through it so you don't get me wrong.
My race is over via time cut In the individual time trial today, I didn't finish within enough time of the winner and that means I'm out. My mind is filled with thoughts of what if.. this has happened to me before 4 years ago when Lance Armstrong won the time trial in the Tour of Georgia before going on to win his 6th tour de france. It makes me feel like I havn't progressed an inch in 4 years. The truth is on that day 4 years ago, it was when I was just starting to struggle with problems in my right leg that nearly ended my career. It took me a few years to figure out what was wrong and find a solution and now I'm on the road to comeback. But today is still devistating.
When I got the news I left the hotel and walked, I had to get out. People were saying "stay positive" "don't worry it'll work out it always does..." And that's a load of crap. I found a field across the street and a couple blocks away, perfect. I walked through it and grasshoppers started jumping out of the grass everwhere. It reminded me of being little and when I used to go out in the fields I grew up around with my chickens and catch grasshoppers for them to eat, they loved that shit and I was sure it would make for tasty eggs. It's not that things are going to be okay because there's no garauntee like that. It's that you are who you are good and bad and it's constantly up to you to decide where and how you'll live. I'm not dillusional... so I don't try to make myself "feel better" when something goes wrong. I went for something and failed. That means I'm wrecked.. I'm gutted.. I'm honest.. and this reminds me to live like God believes me and not like I'm lost.
Tour of Missouri: Day 2One hundred and twenty-six miles today.. so unecissary. That's how long the stage was. It was like 4 criteriums back to back. It was never easy, we had a crosswinds most of the day so you had to stay vigilant to stay up front. In the end though it came down to two short circuts of 3k, pretty much like a crit only on another level. These guys ride the tour de france and they handed my ass to me. It wasn't as bad as yesturday, I ran right near the front with the guys that finished on the podium going into the last kilometer, but that was all I could do and I finished off the pace at the end. I highly doubt that I'll be in a position to look at winning anything here but at least I got into a race of this calibre. Riding these races and finishing them is the only way to reach the kind of form it take to be a contender. So my goal now is to reach the finish in St. Louis on Sunday in tact. But I'm gonna be stubborn and keep believing that I can run a top 10 in one of the stages too;)
Tour of Missouri: Day 1Yeah. I'm in over my head. I suffered today, suffered well I think. But with about 10k to go I was done... it was like I'd reached the end of my leash and got unplugged from my power source. I've been fighting a sore throat so I feel a little under the weather.... and it was raining. Non of that shit helps. Now if I was road race fit instead of crit jockey fit it probably wouldn't matter. But I'm bluffing my way through a protour level stage race and every bit counts. So hopfully I can "ride into it" as they say and get my legs under me later in the week.
From Kansas City..Aight I told you I was going to write more about my prep for Missouri... might be a little long but this is MY house!
I recently took a little forced vaca up to my old home in Sonoma County (CA) because I had to fight a traffic ticket.. if the MAN wants my money he's gonna have to work for it. I got in some good rides up there.. long hot rides on roads I grew up on, good shit. Then I went motorpacing before the local twilight night crit with my Pops. (his 1200cc Buell..... Vs. - Me.)
If you're laughing at me right now, I would be too, but I had to try. A scooter would have been ideal, but we aint got that. The session lasted 2 hours and I blew up 3 or 4 times. Pretty ridiculous, but I reached higher speeds than I ever have motorpacing before and it didn't stop me from winning the crit that night.
After all that riding I went sailing with my Dad and brother. It's my favorite thingn to do when I visit:) We have a 25ft. Catamaran named Stilleto that MOVES when the wind picks up. We had the perfect day too, hot and windy. Since we tend to view sailing from more of a sporting standpoint than a leisurely one we like to push it if the conditions are right. So we get out into the San Francisco bay right.. immidiately up to 20knots sailing strait past Alcatraz. And then we fucked up. A gust of wind came that the Stilleto couldn't quite handle and we capsized. Like a bitch slap from nature... It only took 15minutes for the Coast Guard to show up which is when you know it's game over. After that they took us to the station where we waited in these jumpsuits they gave us while Pops hired a salvage crew to right the boat and get it back to the dock. Pirates basically.. they pretty much watched him do all the work and charged him a ton of money for it.
Now I'm here. Missouri.. for a week long tour with tip top teams from all over the world. I don't know any better or worse than to throw everything I have at winning. I might actually be in way over my head but who cares, the only thing I have to worry about is what I can do. Stay tuned;)
Giro Di San Francisco!Real quick.. because I'm about to mob all the way back to L.A. tonight.
I love this race, It's like the final season picnic for racing in NorCal. I've won it twice before. This time I came in 3rd, winning the field sprint. Two guys went off the front and stayed off. It was super windy and I had a feeling a break would go but I went against my instincts to play it safe and rode conservatively till the end. wups.
I'm in Santa Rosa training for the Tour of Missouri.... it's been rough.. More soon;)
The perfect weekend!I got to see Rahsaan Bahati win his first proffessional National Championships today!
It was all for him, the boys and I busted our asses and he cleaned up beautifully. It feels a lot like the days when we were juniors. Now we're all pro and shit so theres more at stake.... but it's still just as fun;)
I'm back in Chicago for the pair of criteriums that is the US criterium national championships
and we're off to a good start already; I won:) Last night was the pre race and today's race is for the championshipsI've been dealing with a lot since I've been home.. fighting a traffic ticket in court, going to job interviews and figuring out how to pay my bills.... I came on this trip in pretty low spirits actually. Winning doesn't change much about my life right now, but it sure is a nice treat.
I owe this one to Rahsaan.. with 3 laps to go he rode next to me and asked if I wanted to go for the win, then proceeded to give me the perfect leadout. It's awesome having teammates like him that have that much talent and that much willingness as well. I'm hoping I can return the favor to him today in the race for the jersey.
So good to be home
I'm in Memphis..spending the night in the shittiest hotel you can imagine
But it's alright.. it comes with the territory. All the ins and outs, delays, problems, successes and failures. You help it when you can but most of the time you can't. So it's only natural that on the way home our origonal trio of myself, Justin and Rahsaan end up with delayed flights, shoved into a hotel with vouchers for free fried chicken. All the comforts of home, still needed some personal touches though so I made the 5 minute walk to a gas station for a tasty beverage and a toothbrush. Sometimes that's the recipe. On my way back watching the lights reflect off the pavment between the gentlemens club on the right and the car dealership on the left, I'm thinking even if this sucks at least it makes sense... Which I appriciate. Because I get to see a whole hell of a lot that doesn't.
As for the racing over the weekend. There were 3 events.. Rahsaan won the first, the other two we only managed minor placings. My fitness is really good now from Superweek, but I'm still dog tired, so I did all the grunt work and tried to give my boys a chance at winning. We rode good.. it just didn't go our way.
Now I'm toying with the idea of bussing up to the San Rafael GP on Saturday, such a good race. I'll make it if I can, untill then I'm putting my feet up and paying all the bills that are stacked up at home.
Chicago was a bust:(
And I tried my hardest to find a spot for shoes.
Unfortunately we've been staying in the burbs.. not actually IN Chicago so getting out and about ends up being a major ordeal that I'll just go ahead and skip going into. I found the perfect store... but they were closed when I got there! On the bright side, I got to hang with my Pops for a minute and see some impressive architecture, and there was the wind that nearly lifted me off my feat last night. Anyways.. not to worry. If I have to go all the way back to Isabelles on the haight in San Francisco to buy shoes I will. At least I get a discount there. Other than that I've been getting in some relaxed riding and relishing some downtime counting the drops off my nose sitting in the hotels sauna.. or going to pieces in laughter when the bartender at a precious little "french" bar decided I deserved the whole goddamn bottle of Knob Creek. (not that I drank it!)
Day 17I lost..
2nd overall in Superweek. I'm happy and disspointed at the same time. It gives me a lot of motivation to go home and work hard to improve my riding. I've learned a lot about myself and racing in the past 17 days, first and formost that I'm capable of even more than the form I've reached at Superweek and in 2008. For now though it's off to Chicago for some rest and shoe shopping! After that I'll be heading to Charlotte to race the twilight there on the 2nd.
thankYou everyone for youre support and love.... it carries me:)
Day 16I started today on faith and a prayer.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't see myself as an underdog. Sometimes winning just feels impossible.
The prayer I put to God, was if he thought of me on the top step, to put me there. The wing of faith was to attack the full blown leadout happening with half a lap to go. It's a move that's not supposed to work, but if you time it right and try hard enough sometimes it does. This time it worked, and after I crossed the line alone I had to lay on the street for 10 minutes to recover from the effort. Origonally I thought there was a break up the road, but when I finally got up and rolled back to the pits there was my team and my father, arms in the air. When I realized I'd won I broke down and cried. These past two weeks have been so hard and stressful that it totally put me on a tilt, the joy and relief I felt was overwhelming.
God believes in me:)
Days 14/15Internet went out at the hotel for a couple days. Two for one this time
I'm trailing in second place.. by 6 points now. I've been attacking and trying to get some of my own back everday, but these guys have my ticket ready to punch every time I move. I've raced everyday of Superweek... and after falling twice (due to uncrotrollable situations) I'm tapped. I've been losing a little bit everyday to Cantwell because he's just plain quicker than me in the sprints. he's been following and taking a little bit from me at the line everday. There are two more races, and I'll try everything in the book.. it'll take a miracle to recapture the lead, but I've always believed in those:)
If I run second overall in the race, I'm going to do it in style. I'm very proud of the riding I've been doing from the beggining. No one else has had more challenges come their way, I've had a target on my back the entire time and I'm still putting it to them every time I line up. As for the critisizm I receieved yesturday....
Talk all you want.
Day 13I lost the yellow jersey today. By one point.
Day 12I felt goooood last night:)
4 man break snuck away at the halfway point and stayed away. I got across in a few moves myself... but I've got zero leeway.. even guys that have just showed up to superweek are hot on my trail every time I move. Even though I felt good I didn't hit out soon enough in the field sprint and got pipped for points again. I think my lead in the jersey is something like 5 points now with 5 races to go.. It's coming down to scraps. Unfortunately the fact that I fell and missed out on a day last week means I lost the points cusion I had. It's going to be hard to win the overall with such a small lead and everybody gunning for me. But I and my team are going to give it everything we have.
Day 11Superweek throws another curve ball.
Todays race was supposed to be 90 miles. Not sure why but it got shortened to 65, totally reshaping what is typically a long race of attrition into a glorified circut race. Adding to that the finish was unmarked from any distance untill you happened upon it at the crest of a hill. On the bright side my team rode increadible today, taking care of business so well I was able to sit in the field and conserve. In the end Rudy made it in a small break that didnt include any players in the overall so I told him to go for the stage win while I tried to collect points behind in the field sprint. Unfortunately I had a hard time judgeing the finish and let out a little too much lease on the guys I needed to beat, so my lead got cut down to size a little. I'm still leading going into the last week of racing. Now it's time to really make each ride count, especially after such a crazy weekend. There have been some very difficult momments and some riduculous stuff we've had to deal with so far.. but that's racing, that's superweek, you never know whats going to happen:)
Day 10Quick update this time.
tomorrows stage is a 90 mile road race that starts earlier in the day and is worth double points, so I gotta harness my chi. Todays race went well enough, I placed 6th ahead of all my rivals for the overall and gained some points. My teammate Peter won the stage from a 3 man break that broke off right after a temporary stop of the race with 6 laps to go because of a crash. The officals actually stopped the race on another occassion as well because of crashes about halfway through the race. Made for an odd outing but we maintained and are focusing on tomorrow now. Wish me luck.
Day 9Today was wonderful.
I woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a mack truck.. I've never really messed my face up before like this and it's oh so strange. All last night, and all today actually, I've been getting flashbacks of dreams I've had in the past, I stopped counting when it reached 25. Random things would suddenly for a second give me the strongest sense of deja vu and I'd have it flash through my mind... kind of fun, but mostly scary. Other than that I was feeling semi decent so I decided to race. My teammates tried to suggest I take the day off, but once we got to racing they rode like bosses and kept things tight for me early on the windy fast course. I never went further than 15 guys back from the front and within 20 laps I was in a break of 10 guys. We nearly lapped the field but through a little miscommunication we fell off the pace a bit and it ended up sprinting for the win from the breakaway. I may have been a little over cautious going into the finale do to nerves and my condition. Usually I take the race in my hands and hit out early for the line as soon as I can smell it. Instead I held back a bit trying to be smart, then came on too late and got boxed in with 100m to go. I ended up 5th.
Overall I'm grateful for how it went, I really needed to just do the race and keep my mind and body going.. It made me so happy just to be there on course and my legs were good as ever. The support was huge from my team to the organizers to the spectators. I was very encouraged and I'd just like to thank everyone for their concern, respect and prayers.
Who needs collagen.
Day 8Fuck Merphy.
Todays race was perfect for 20 minutes. Short course with two fast downhill corners and just as many power rises. 10 laps in I followed a move and ended up off the front with three guys and we were flying, we took a half lap almost immidiately, the perfect situation. A few laps later my rear tire blew in the middle of the fastest corner and sent me strait off the road at 40mph. I woke up on the sidewalk scared as shit because I couldnt think, literally. But I've hit my head before so I just tried to relax. I ened up with a cuncussion and 7 stiches in my head, and that was the end of my day. I'm very dissapointed but just as motivated, and I still have yellow. I give each ride to God when I line up. I don't expect him to make it go well, I just expect him to use it.
Day 7Last night was just about the toughest yet.
My legs felt great, stronger than ever, but I went down in a 10 man pileup with 10 laps to go. It roughed me up pretty good and I had to ride a spare bike from SRAM to 9th place. My teammate Peter Dawson covered a 4 man move and won the stage. The rest of my squad are stepping it up everyday. Things are looking good. Today will be a bit difficult being all sore and riding with bandages.. more fuel for the fire I guess:)
Day 6Quick recap today because we have a transfer from Chicago up to Milwaukee where hopfully there will be a bed I can sleep in. The couch I've been on so far at my friends hous is about 2 feet too short for me to sleep on. I need a chiropractor quick, and I'm so sleep deprived I've been dozing of every chance I get. Yesturdays race was hard, they held it on the exact same course RB won on two nights ago, only it was windier and hotter. This time however we lined up with a total of 9 teammates, so we had a little more say in the way the race went. Some of them didn't make it past halfway but Peter, Jerimiah, and Rudy rode like champs keeping it together for the points sprints and for the finish. The only thing we couldn't control was this one Colombian who is riding otherwordly. soloing off the from for most of the race and nearly lapping the field on his own. Don't know how that's possible. Amazing. Williams and Rahsaan still dicing it up in every way helping me to 3rd place and adding more points to my lead. That's all for now folks. time for a 3 hour drive.. which means a 3 hour nap for me:) peace!
Day 5This one's going to be short. A few of my teammates showed up last night to help, unfortunately being fresh off the plane only Rudy made it to the end, bull that he is. I felt the smoothest and freshest of all the days so far, covering moves for almost the whole race with the usual entourage in tow. I gotta sneak every inch I get. Rahsaan got away in a move.. that without me in it everbody was happy to see go. They lapped pretty quick and we went for the stage win after that, I kept it together and my boy up front, then he cleaned up like a formality with a little trackie split to the right while everybody was looking at their shoes. He won by 4 bike lengths. ha. Now I'm in the lead overall and Rahsaan is right behind me which gives us a one-two punch threat. They can't just watch me anymore. It's on!
Day 4Superweek is becoming one big mexican standoff. Stage 4 was a little awkward.. half the field was fresh outa who knows where, half of it guys that have been racing from day one. It seemed like everywhere I went cats would sit up and open gaps and look to me because I have the most to lose. Normaly I'm the guy who fills the gap in line because 'jack be nimble' is sitting on, but it was getting ridiculous. Everbody is tired by now, which I understand... I'm just going to say one thing for everbody. If you're on a wheel and you decide your can't hold it, give the guy behind you a hand, at least flick your elbow.. SOMETHING. Sitting up and opening a gap for no apparent reason is a bitch move, don't do it. I thank heavens again for sidekick Justin and scottie Bahati, we're only three guys, but Justin made the move that lapped the field (which took the pressure off me) and you should have seen the three of us dicing it up at the end setting up for the sprint. Can't touch us. Justin ended the day in 4th putting in a man's size ride, and Rahsaan put his own intersts aside to lead us out and I grabbed max points with 10th putting some more daylight between me and the other jersey contenders. Tonight a few more of our teammates are lining up with us to help watch our backs so we can really get down to some fast racing and a little less rubber necking. There's still a long way to go to the end.. I'm on this like you wouldn't believe, I'm scared, I'm nervous. I've been getting support from every angle and I feel like I'm on a razors edge, it feels good, I feel compelled. This is big for me.
Day 3..I had a little trouble finding a good wi-fi to get on and post from, so now that I have, you get two for the money.
Stage 2 ended in a major drag race. I jumped the Kelly Benifits leadout with 400m to go with Rahsaan on my wheel, he took the win easily and I made it in for 3rd which got me another handful of points and increased my lead in the overall. It was a hard race for us. Justin Williams rode like a don, taking up the slack whenever there was some and lookin good doing it, Rahsaan knocked out nearly all the intermediate points sprints to move into the red sprinters jersey and I had my hands full watching my rivals with sore legs. At the end of the day we might have been just a little proud of ourselves. As we should be.. as long as we keep it up for another two weeks
Stage 3 was a little strange, the organizers nearly cancelled the race saying the parcourse was "too dangerous" - a 0.4 mile loop with wind and a 2 inch concrete lip all around. They put it to a vote and we ended up with a slightly shortened race, 40k instead of 60k. I was positive with the conditions that the race would blow apart early, so I put my face in the wind early and was gonna make it happen if it killed me. I tried for 30 laps only to realize it was way to easy to follow behind on the day with the wind. After that I tried to conserve and watch the danger moves, but I slipped up and let a move of 4 go. They got a half lap on us and wern't coming back. Then came a crash that the officials stopped the race for, then restarted us, giving the break a dubiously generous headstart. But at any rate, RB put it on the line for me at the end and I grabbed 6th spot with enough points to stay in yellow.
Today is another day... I'm tired but optimistic. My teammates are there for me 100% and with more of them arriving tonight, we'll have a lot more ammo going into the rest of the stages. Stay tuned.
Can I get an Amen..oh the horror. the bordeom. the wonder. I got a call from my brother at 12:30 am last week. My heart was on the ground and he scooped it up for an hour with oh so much zeal I couldnt help being encouraged to ride it out on faith.. its the quiet suffering that kills you, but it doesn't mean no one's watching. God believes in me, and I have to thank him for my brother
Now as no suprise, with a days notice I'm bussing off to Wisconsin for th International Cycling Classic, two weeks of fast racing better known as "Superweek." I hesitated to go, still not recieving a dime from the team I represent, but realizing the opportinty in a race series that suits my ablities I decided to take that caculated risk and go. So there we were, Rahsaan Bahati, Justim Williams and myself mobbing cross country from LA to Chicago where the series starts.
We made it to the first race after 2.5 days of driving, tired as hell and not having touched the bike in just as long. Since we came for the whole series and wanted to have a stab at the overall, we suffered through the 100k crit poker faces all around. I ended up going away in a 10 man break and lapping the field.. cramping, nautious, the whole bit, then somehow I won.
Trust me we were happy... I was happy. and relieved, the trip is getting worth it from jump. Now I have the leaders jersey on my back and a lot of motivation. I'll write about it everyday I get the chance:)
Today's race in Carsen was crap. I felt strong, real strong. But I knew I could have been stronger. You only have so many matches, what you do with them is up to you... all I have to say is that I only had a few left for the race. I lit it up and tried to get away.. almost did. Then went for the sprint but totally botched my teams leadout for me. It's a foreign concept to fight for a spot in line. I got stuck in an aussie sandwich in the process and watched 10 riders swarm me. Good thing RB knows to look behind him and asses. The boy took care of business. again. and I'm leaving the day with a twinge of heart and wanting real bad to gear up for the next one
Wast of time.
Manhattan Beach Grand Prix.... I'm happy for my friend and teammate Rahsaan Bahati who took a repeat victory. He deserves it. My race was shit.. I hoped to impress but I felt terrible. Pedaling squares. It was all I could do to cover a few moves and do my bit to leadout my team. I can usually do my job even when I'm on a rough day, but I'm not getting anything return for my efforts which makes even success taste bitter. Today I ask myself why I put myself in this position. I need something to change.
RIGHT!The photo below is the aftermath of a nice little pileup right at the end of the San Pedro GP last week. Fun times.. I was on a good day, set up perfect for the sprint, and apparently not very lucky. If I could avoid these things I would.
Another in a long line of lessons.. I've always sat back in my easy chair thinking about how it's not the money, it's not the fame, it's not even about winning. I do it because I love it.. because it comes naturally and nothing could ever sway me or change me. Oh but should I be so blessed of late to put all my theory's to test. Paying your dues is one thing, bleeding on the sidewalk knowing you can't pay rent is pushing it. But I'll take it, because thats not the worst thing I've been through and I still love being here, I love doing this, and I'm grateful for the oppurtunity to prove it.
How you like THESE apples?!
I'm counting my lucky stars again, I pulled off another win Sunday at the Dana Point GP.. by the skin of my teeth just like everything else in my life these days
I feel like a kid again.My motivation is climbing everyday, as is my form. I gotta take a quick second to give props to Nate Loyal for fitting me on the bike and putting me on a truly stable platform a couple months back. I've been putting in a lot of training to adapt to the changes and imporove my biomechanics on the bike. The difference has been night and day and I'm happy to say that my form is climbing like I hadnt even dared to hope for. The result has been two wins and a few top ten placings in the races I've ridden over the last little while. I feel solid for once wich gives me a lot of hope and motivation. After trying to focus on the track over last season and exploring other avenues outside of cycling I've found I have a renewed passion for the sport this year. The biomechanical issues I've struggled with since my early proffessional years really took the wind out of my sails.. I'd say it was about like riding around with the breaks on, it couldnt ride how I wanted to in my heart and it made me lose hope and ultimately go into races more absent minded than read to race.
When I can ride to the potential I know is in me, go out and hit it the way my instincts have always led me to, then there's nothing else I'd rather be doing. It comes full cirlcle. 13 years of racing to get here and when I have an open road its the same same feeling only simpler. I'm in Santa Rosa
on a little sabatticle staying with my father in the middle of his massive overhaul of an old victorian near downtown. It's a little hectic, always something going on. I've had some time to spend with my brothers sisters and friends, everything from the beach to some sticky icky, hottubing hippie parties and moto GP's. But more than anything I've been lounging in the front yard like a good hoodrat and studying for the NASM exam so I can begin working as a certified personal trainer when I get back to Los Angeles. Gotta pay the bills somehow. Alright.. I know I never write here anymore.
Let me preface by saying shits not been exactly Ideal, and I don't come here to bitch and complain, so....
My form has been wonderful this year.. better than I ever remember riding.
I'm not getting raced much since the team brought in all the superstars. So I'm a little bored and frustrated,
but I got a couple races coming up that suit me, both NRC, Ojai and Monterey.
I'll write some news when I can.
Otherwise you can check in on AMERICA for what the tongue in the cheek thinks of things. Janruary.
I just got home from training camp and my head is still spinning.
the speed all week was ridiculous.
and talking shit is twice the fun with the cameras rolling.
I lost a total of 40 bucks at poker.. I won 10 shooting dice.
One night when the house was asleep.
it was gale force winds and me outside this so called 30 millin dollar mansion. taking a moment to find solace in a macanudo.. there's a lot to hold in and that's how I let it out. I got reminded of home by rain fall and frogs. catching frogs used to be my thing.. i used to be king. honestly is everything to me. and that's where the sqeeze usually is. it get's hard sometimes believing in something that feels like it's dissapearing. but even if I can't see it, I'll be here. Because this is my life, even if it is a race.